My partner is my BestFriend's LOVER!

"Dear Nicole,

I have been friends with my bff for almost 3 years now, we met at a gathering of cellphone clans ( it's like chatters having an eyeball only this time its textmates who are dong it) anyway, he liked me and i liked him, but we only clicked as friends. I also met my partner there, he was a head turner, not like most of the people who attended he was just sitting on one corner minding his own business. i went up to him and introduced my self, then the rest is history. so basically i am friends with my bff for almost 3 years and i have been with my partner for almost 3 years also. until one day when i went home (i'm living with my partner) i noticed that my bff's watch was there, at first i thought he might have left it from before, so i didnt mind. i went it, took a bath, changed my clothes and got ready to sleep, i was just about to catch my sleep when i heard the gate opened, "it's mario."(my partner) i thought. so i stood up to greet him as i was accustomed to it already, but then i heard another voice it was patrick (my bff) they seemed to be on a rush, i was a bit confused and ofcourse feeling suspicious so i stayed eavesdropping on the door. they were conversing about me, that i might catch them, or that i might have seen the watch, my partner said i still wasnt at home because i didn't greet him at the door, when he said that they both calmed down and then they kissed... i was dumbstruck nicole... i didn't know how to react, i went to our bed, pretended to sleep, i was hearing noises but i just didn't mind... i love both of them, but i think i love my partner more... who do you think i should choose?"

sincerely,

lonelyboyblue

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Dear lonelyboyblue,

First of all, He wasn't your best friend from the start, secondly your partner doesn't love you as much as you love him.

Secondly, you don't have to choose, yes you might want to fight for your love etc. etc. or you might want to say that "sayang friendship" thing but, don't you think that its already wasted? if you have established a strong foundation on your friendship, one basic ingredient for that not to fall down is trust. Do you think you could still trust your friend after what you heard and saw? do you think you would still be able to let your partner go on drink with his friends with out thinking that he might just be meeting with some other guy? if so... then you are stupid.

what you should do is, first examine your self, of course this isn't easy, you would think about things that you could not live with out, think about the things you and your partner shared, the laughs that you and your bff laughed, the tears and fights that you experienced with in this 3 years you are with them. think about all of it, the happy times and the sad moments, admit to your self that you love them both, you might be mad, angry or sad but just tell yourself you do love them. Then ask your self can i live with out them? the answer is usually yes, if you answer no then there must be something wrong with you, you can go on living even with out them, it is hard but its true.

then this might not come as easily as i type it... forgive them, if and when you are ready to forgive them then you can say to yourself that you have moved on. you might not forget it because the damage has been done but atleast you are freeing them from the bond of hatred, when there is no more hatred in your heart then love would eventually find it's way back inside.

This may take a long time and i believe that it would be very hard, pain is hard to forget and the wounds of love takes a long time to heal... but i do believe that you lonelyboyblue would be happyboypink someday! :)

yours,

Nicole Richie